One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
