then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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