sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
