I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
