just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
