I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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