i would punch a child for taco bell
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
