these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
