I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Randomize
