Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
