I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
