God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
wat bout pragnant strippers??
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize