just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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