My nipple is on Facebook.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
