She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Just high enough for therapy.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize