woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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