We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
