Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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