the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
