what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
