im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
