I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize
