I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Randomize