Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Congratulations! We have a period
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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