I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I need water and some morals
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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