You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
