I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
