I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Randomize
