i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
