SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
