The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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