I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
