Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
