Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Randomize
