Midget sex pt 2 tonight
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
