I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
We had to coat check the pizza.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
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