i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize