there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
