Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize