how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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