I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
