No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
