I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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