Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize