Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
