How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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