You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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