**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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