I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
