Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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