Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
