I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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