All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
