i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
