I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize