The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
