i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
