I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
