It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
