it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
We are all done wearing pants today
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
