Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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