Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
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