Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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