Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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