Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
