I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize