Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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