im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Randomize
