I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
