um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
