Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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