worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
