do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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