When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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