so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
