Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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