we're chasing vodka with high fives
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
