you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
