I CAN MOONWALK!
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
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