he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize
