My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
